09 Feb How To Talk To Your Children About Divorce
Telling your children that one of their parents are moving out may be the most difficult part of divorce. It’s painful enough telling friends and family, but it can be heartbreaking having to tell your children. There are many schools of thought on how to go about it and from my experience there isn’t a wrong way, but there are some positive approaches to make it a bit easier. Read on for our tips on how to talk to your children about divorce.
Sharing information with your children is important, but certain things do not need to be discussed, such as infidelity or if your spouse isn’t making healthy choices. Children do not need details; keeping things simple and answering the questions they ask is the best tactic. There is no need to elaborate. It is important to remember that they are not your friends or therapists, but they will continue to love their parents regardless of what is you or your spouse is feeling.
There are some fantastic books on the market ranging from preschool age and up that are able to be used as a guide and offer reassurance. Reaching out to your children’s teachers and school guidance counselors is also important so that your child knows that if they are having a tough day, they have someone to go to while at school. The more your child feels supported, the easier this time can be. Some schools also offer programs through their guidance counselors about changing families or divorce that can help your child feel connected to others going through the same thing. Guidance counselors are trained on how to talk to your children about divorce so they can be an invaluable resource.
One of the most important messages you want to convey is that the decision to divorce is an adult choice and nothing that a child could have created. Reading a bedtime story never has to be missed with all the technology that is out there; you can remain connected even when you are not physically with your child. Setting up regular FaceTime or Skype calls to your children while visiting the other parent is always helpful. Trying to keep a consistent schedule of visitation helps make for a smoother transition and gives children security knowing when they will see the other parent next.
Divorce is a painful journey. Even under the best circumstances, everyone needs to heal, as well as find a new normal. Take some time and remember to have fun when you can with your children. Remind them that just because the other parent is no longer living there, you will always be a family.
We hope these tips on how to talk to your children about divorce helped you. Contact us for more ideas and support during your divorce.